Tuesday 27 March 2007

Birthday

It was boy #1 's birthday recently, why do we have to have all his wretched mates round, I can't wait til they are old enough to get out to the pub or something. Mind you, they might be OK by then. But now, my God what a set.

There's ****** who I shall call Gollum. He can be relied on want "NEED" any other toy which is being played with by another child. To the point where Gollum can't actually play with any of his hoard as his legs are buckling under the weight of it all. I actually heard him say " they are all mine" in a shrill and disturbing voice.

Then they is ****** who I shall call Pushit. What ever you say he can't do, then that is what he will do. I caught him with a large full water pistol in the kids room. Yes I know it sounds petty, but would you like to get into a wet bed? And this is after he had been told it was an OUTSIDE toy. "Can I just squirt it in the bath then?" Get real, like I'm going to let that happen.

Next up is ****** who I shall call Baby. Yes he's the one who cries to get his way. He cries so easily you almost dare not speak to him. But although it undoubtedly works at home, it won't work with me. He can just cry himself dry. And rally what is the big deal? So someone sat in his place - So?

Finally we have **** who I shall call Whiner. God he is hard work. Loud, unruley, pushy, a bad looser AND a bad winner (dreadful combination). To cap it off, he smells. How does a seven year old get to smell so bad? Don't they wash him?

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

I can understand why so many parents just don't entertain at home for their kids. No, they ship them off to kiddy world for some hydrogenated fats and a sugar rush, then send 'em back home to mum and dad.

Next year I will suggest a much more select guest list, or perhaps a themed party. Mary Keller springs to mind for some reason.

Boris

3 comments:

Ms Melancholy said...

I strongly suspect that your son's friends' parents are of the overly liberal persuasion? Let the little darlings express themselves and don't say 'no', just negotiate to the nth degree? Bloody annoying, isn't it. Random Thoughts had a great post last week - she is a teacher - about a parent taking her daughter out of school for the rest of her final term because she didn't get the part she wanted in the school end of term play. Fantastic lesson to teach your child, isn't it?

Ms Melancholy said...

PS - had to google Mary Keller and I am still none the wiser.

PPS did you know you have more typos per square inch than a dyslexic student?!

Boris said...

Hi Ms M, I will try to remember to spell check in future. I think that I meant Helen Keller, who was famously deaf dumb and blind. Hence great theme for a kids party!
In my defence, it was very late (for me) when I wrote that and I had a lot on my mind like the fact I need to suddenly find 6,500 to fix the roof.

How stupid to pull a kid out of school because of that!